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9/20/2023 0 Comments Readers be aware!***The stories shared here are an abridged version of the transcripts from the conversations recorded during the sitting.***
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8/20/2023 0 Comments MaryMary was born in British Guyana in 1931. She believes we make our own happiness. Today she is 92 years old. Mary was married for 65 years before her husband passed at 95 years of age. He was a good man whom she cared for until he went into hospital for two months and passed away.
Mary met her husband as a bridesmaid at his brother’s wedding. They married a year after he completed teachers’ training college. He taught in Guyana. Together the couple raised seven children: five boys and two girls. Today one of their children is deceased, four live in Edmonton, one in Toronto and one in New York. They come by to visit her, but Mary says not often enough. Her oldest daughter sponsored her parents coming to Canada. Arriving from Guyana, where English is spoken, Mary adjusted well. But the cold weather of Alberta was challenging. Her approach to cold is to forget it, or she suggests: tell yourself what you’ll wear to beat the cold. She found trees without leaves in Canada a mystery. Without their leaves, trees in Guyana are dead. She was surprised trees sprouted leaves and grew again in spring. Mary loves Canadian autumn when leaves change colour. Mary believes independence from Britain was good for Guyana. There were restrictions for the Guyanese under British rule. The colonial habit changed with Independence but politics remained corrupt in Guyana, just as they are in Canada Mary states. Mary misses a freedom she recalls when Guyanese people celebrated every culture’s main holidays. Mary did not work outside her home until her last child was ready for kindergarten. At home she sewed and baked wedding cakes for the community to help support her family. Her mother desired Mary to be a nurse but she could not tolerate the sight of blood. Mary did eventually become a trained caregiver to older adults here in Edmonton which she really enjoyed. The sequential loss of her husband and beloved son over the last few years has taken a toll on Mary who is now oxygen dependent. Mary enjoyed travel. Her favourite trip was to South Africa. She admires Nelson Mandela who endured hardship to promote change. Another highlight in Jerusalem was riding a camel. She enjoys reading Prime Time, a senior’s paper. She reflects, the move to Canada was good but in her heart, Mary will always be Guyanese. 8/20/2023 0 Comments JayJay declares that he is now an ‘old guy’, laughing. Relaxed and even tempered, he describes his skin as dark, his eyes brown, worrying that he may be too dark for portraiture!
Born 1942 in Madras State in Southern India, he was a small baby who grew to be a five-foot seven-inch adult. The second oldest, he had two brothers and two sisters. His older brother passed away. His parents were teachers working where the family lived in Ethiopia and beyond. Jay attended school in Madras at Saint Bede’s School to standard 11 after which, he started college. Jay recalls his father was a taskmaster who taught him well. In 1961, at 18 years of age, Jay came to Canada with his parents, both of whom taught for the North Peace School Division. The family lived in Grimshaw. Jay wanted to attend university, but was refused entry. Jay believes this was racially motivated. His father then wanted Jay to attend SAIT but Jay did not like the program. After working in B.C., Jay returned to Edmonton to work for the city. There his work provided steady income and his life soared. He became a writer for the city of Edmonton answering letters regarding mayoralty and alderman enquiries. It was pleasant employment for 28 years. When he retired from the city, he worked one year as a golf marshal. At 81, Jay experiences some pain from colitis and Sciatica, but basically lives a good life. He is a Christian who prays in the quiet of night considering Jesus to be his Lord and Saviour. He does not attend a church. He likes living in Beaumont, Alberta a quiet and well-run community. There he looks after his garden with his second wife, Sushila, from Singapore, whom he met 30 years ago. As a gardener, Jay appreciates the sound of rain falling. His attitude towards life is one of gratefulness and appreciation. Jay declares he has loved his Canadian experience, where he was rarely discriminated against. Today, Jay has eight grandchildren whom he states are all happy people. Jay began stamp collecting at 14 to 15 years of age. He still collects today. He focused his collection around a geographical area and was motivated to enter stamp collecting contests. Jay considers his collection valuable and it saddens him that there seems to be no family interest to sustain it. Collecting stamps has taught him many things. 8/20/2023 0 Comments LoisLois was born 1930 in South Saskatchewan, the youngest of six children. At 5 years of age, she moved with her family to Alberta. Lois became a professional psychologist after completing her BA in 1953. Lois met Ken, whom she married in 1963 after a lengthy gap in their relationship. After marrying, Ken became an educator and stressed the importance of having a family. Lois and Ken had two daughters: Lynn and Heather. After her children were born, she returned to university to study change management with Bill Bridges the author of Life Transitions . Lois believes this book is still relevant today. She worked as a consultant in career transitions for 12 years during the downsizing in Alberta, helping her clients explore new personal territory, particularly in midlife. She emphasized the importance of spending time on things that give you meaning and joy. Lois recalls one 30-year-old man who transitioned from being an engineer to a psychologist. Lois, herself, has made informed choices about her own life transitions. At 93, coping with intractable chronic pain in her lower body, she is exploring her life choices . She has signed up for Medical Assistance in Dying (MAID). She stresses how hard her decision is but her blood disorder frightens her, recalling her father’s double amputation. She would appreciate if people discussed her decision to include MAID as an option in her journey through life as she has found people do not communicate these feelings. Lois’s study of major world religions helped her reconcile her choice. She feels discussions about quality of life while aging, serve an important purpose. Lois’s condition has drastically impacted her mobility resulting in isolation, which is problematic for a self-professed extrovert. It has prompted her to reach out and develop a nurturing virtual community that includes ‘the Wisdom Circle’ ( an online, global sector of ‘Sageing International’). Lois also has one 25 year old grand daughter and twin grandsons aged 22 . Lois has come to value the effort to maintain family contact through weekly zoom calls; a vital addition to her virtual community. Lately, contemplating leaving this world, Lois believes the difference her death will make may be insignificant. She trusts there will be new adventures ahead. Lois hopes she leaves this world a better place because she has prompted people to explore and discuss their life choices with family and friends. 5/7/2023 0 Comments Ken After some thought, I've decided to provide you with a mere glimpse at each sitter... Sadly, we have lost Ken this year but he has left a legacy. Not the least of which are the children's school trees He planted outside the family home... They flourished. See Ken as part of "Between the Lines: Merging Portraits and Stories of Older Adults" at the Woodcroft Library from June until August. Interactive discussion June 8 from 4-6. 4/16/2023 0 Comments TerryInventor, businessman, widow, father, grandfather, genealogist, fiddler, singer.
At 84, Terry looks back upon an active life, grateful for grandchildren, descended from his first wife Gertrude, his high school sweetheart. Gertrude granted Terry one daughter and one son. Together 38 years, she passed away with cancer. His daughter, Joanne and husband, Jeff bestowed Terry with two granddaughters he is very fond of. In his early life, Terry built logging trailers. Then, he started an environmental products business in which he and son Dennis, invented an oily wastewater processor. Terry travelled widely in Canada, north to Cambridge Bay, Nunavut, working under the midnight sun. When Terry retired, his son assumed operations of their business. Terry is blessed by music he enjoys, valuing his long-life which provides him time to appreciate music. Terry's mother, lived in Renfrew Ontario, a staunch Irish Catholic from Fivemiletown, County Tyrone. Having taught school for 30 years, she retired in Renfrew, walking to five funeral homes in a town of 7,500 people. There she visited, maintaining contact with people she knew and taught. At 64 years, Terry discovered a drawerful of old pictures in his mother’s house. Seeing no names or dates on the photos, prompted Terry to begin genealogy research. Terry's three passions are fiddling, singing and genealogy His Irish heritage prompted his brothers and sisters to tour Ireland for 16 days in 2006. He has more research to do– declaring genealogy has no beginning or end.__ His passion for fiddling evokes memories of his 3rd wife, Evelyn. Her love of car racing inspired a trip to Knoxville, Iowa. They continued to Bristol, Tennessee, and Crooked Road, West Virginia, where they participated in jam sessions. Travelling south provided their best experience visiting the Carter Family and McReynolds Brothers’ store. The trip fortified the couple's bond. They married on their return home. Terry treasures his 13 years with Evelyn, married for ten until she passed in 2018. Terry’s 2nd marriage was less successful, the couple divorced acrimoniously. Terry feels blessed by his son, daughter, and three granddaughters. His son’s partner Andy and Dennis own an Edmonton home. Terry accepts their non-traditional relationship. *Terry shared that he has returned to journalling as a response to this sitting…* 4/16/2023 0 Comments TerenceTerence was born October 20, 1946, in the bush in Morrison Township near Muskoka, 80 miles north of Toronto. The son of Annie, a First Nations Ojibway woman, and a German father, Bruce Alexander. His mother delivered two sons: Terry and Don. Terry identifies with his indigenous roots and spoke Cree as a child. Terry moved often as a child. After separating from Annie, Bruce[MW1] , their father, delivered Terry and Don to live with the Letendre family for a couple of years at Lac St. Anne. There they learned to speak Cree and engaged in all the family’s activities.
Terry, Don, and their father left Alberta returning to Ontario after two years to join Sophie, his father’s new wife. Terry was unhappy with his stepmother. He missed Annie. Terry was 22, when he found Annie living in a small house in Toronto. Terry’s mother Annie had 13 children. Terry describes Annie’s life as one of squalor he’s grateful he escaped. At 76 years old, Terry looks back at his years working as a correctional officer, a volunteer at Atonement Home advising Children’ Aid, and most recently, 17 years as a school bus driver. Terry has lived well enjoying 42 years of marriage to Margaret. They had two daughters. Their youngest daughter who trained bus drivers, collapsed at work, and passed away 13 years ago. The cause of her death was never determined. Their oldest daughter married recently, creating a blended family that includes 17 year old grandson, Spirit. Spirit is a high functioning person with Autism. Terry declares his room as a “tragic mess” but he well represents his given name! Terry worked as a corrections officer for the federal government for 25 years. Terry believes rehabilitation does not occur during incarceration. It needs to be. He is upset by the high percentage of indigenous inmates in the prison system. Tired of teaching Indigenous inmates how to live in a white person’s world with no rehabilitation; Terry left his work in corrections. At 60, Terry reunited with Annie and her children and was able to kindle a good relationship. 4/16/2023 0 Comments PhyllisPhyllis, born 1932 in Lemmon, South Dakota, (US), reflects upon her life, believing that she’s transitioning well to growing old.
Hindsight widens her perceptions. At 89 she considers herself fortunate to be in touch with some of her grandchildren, but believes her children or grandchildren have no responsibility to help her. She doesn’t say she’s old, rather she prefers to say, “she’s getting old.” There are stages to the process, but she concedes “when you get to 85 plus, you’re old, so suck it up; it’s just the way it is.” Phyllis’ parents were second generation Norwegians. Her father pastored a Lutheran Church in Devil’s Lake, North Dakota. Pastor’s children are observed closely by parishioners, Phyllis remembers during 32 years as the pastor’s kid, she was seen a lot, as were her five sisters. With hindsight offered by aging; she understands her judgements of people were “sometimes silly”. She and her sisters expected people to be like they were, which wasn’t the case for her youngest sister, Solveig’s husband. Phyllis and her sisters alienated him because it was rumoured, he’d been in jail. Phyllis regrets her response to him. Today, she accepts people with lives different from hers, understanding her past perceptions were narrow. The doorbell rings; Phyllis answers. Outside, stands a neighbour who shovelled her sidewalk. He wants to visit. His girlfriend helped Phyllis with some tasks. He protests he didn’t expect payment for his work. Phyllis replies, “I do as I want, because I can, and I want to pay you.” She gives him money. Phyllis returns to sit before a large living room window, proclaiming her joy from a good love story, which this couple provides. Their happiness makes her happy. Casting a look outside, she embraces the light seeping into her living room, announcing “I love this room.” She’s not ready to leave here yet, but when she does, she’s leaving everything behind. Phyllis met her husband, Kenneth McFadden, in Moorhead, Minnesota where they both attended Concordia College. He was a football player; she a cheerleader. Together almost 70 years, Ken refers to Phyllis as his “girlfriend.” As Phyllis’s children grew, Ken told his stories at the dinner table, as she worked in the kitchen keeping her memories stored. She enjoyed hearing stories about his family, but today she enjoys telling her stories, a privilege of aging. 4/16/2023 0 Comments NoelNoel lives on an acreage past Stony Plain in a log home with her daughter, grand daughter and silver Labrador, Carl. Noel recalls she loved to waltz with her husband who was a great dancer. She announces her marriage was almost perfect. Her husband passed away in 2008 at 67 years of age.
Noel honoured her mother’s request she have a profession to support herself before she married. Her mother learned women needed a way to support themselves after she herself divorced when Noel was only 7. Noel and her future husband attended the same high school. He was two grades behind her so she wouldn’t have given him the time of day. She married him when she was 22. Noel enrolled in the twelve month Junior E program. After 12 months, she could teach and returned to university for night classes and summer school earning a Bachelor of Education. After marriage, she taught Then began life with her husband an RCMP special needs students and grades 1-3. At this time, a teacher couldn’t teach past her sixth month of pregnancy. Women couldn’t show a ‘baby bump’. Noel recalls pregnant teachers were considered a disgrace. In 1965, Noel gave birth to their first child, a boy. Ian survived two days, a result of his exposure to Chicken Pox. Ian having died in August, meant Noel could return to teach. Thirteen months later, in September, Cara was born. The following August a son, Scott was born. Two years later with the birth of Heather, the family was complete. Today, her daughter taught up to her child’s birth, June 26th. Noel’s teaching career included both teaching kindergarten and Special Education, which she ‘fell into’ in Wetaskiwin, where she taught three years. Kindergarten enrollment had fallen to one class; therefore, the principal asked her to teach Special Education Mathematics. Noel embraced the challenge. She determined these students could be high achievers in their group. Later, she studied to teach Special Ed. While working in administration, Noel developed a teaching resources for math teachers. This led to presenting at Math Conferences and Teachers’ Conventions in Kansas, San Jose, and Vancouver. She thrived presenting to audiences. Noel shared a life changing event when ‘the Universe’ introduced her to laughter yoga after the passing of her husband in 2009. She got hooked and became a certified Teacher Trainer. 4/16/2023 0 Comments Mufty and BillBill and Mufty celebrated 65 years of marriage, August 2022. Being a couple as long as they have, might appear stressful, but weathering storms together, they believe each day of marriage gets better than the last. This couple’s attitude towards living is a blueprint for living together, living life fully looking forward to each day.
Bill and Mufty met at McGill University but waited before their first date. Bill needed six months to gain the courage to ask Mufty out. Bill’s invitation came, knowing the next day, he’d be travelling. If their date went sideways, he wouldn’t need to see her. Their first date, at age 18 went well. At McGill, Mufty studied Occupational Therapy. Bill’s challenge with dyslexia caused him to fail Chemistry and Physics his first and second year. Mufty helped him overcome his dyslexia. Looking back at life together, Mufty says raising children is one of the hardest things she’s done. Bill admits he lived life using a straightforward plan. But life doesn’t work that way. He thinks he created a gap in his relationship with one son, but believes the rift is mending; estrangement still exists. Bill and Mufty live life forward. Bill says he loves Mufty more every day. Mufty believes living forward takes planning. Bill lives in the present. Mufty realizes she can’t do everything she used to, and the loss is palpable. Bill submits acceptance is the hardest part of aging. Their decision to marry proved difficult. Mufty explains that they had difficulty painting a room together; how could they be married? Bill proposed twice. Mufty said no. Then she said, “let’s quit.” Bill stresses they’d do it all again. “It’s been a great trip.” Both believers in MAID (Medical Assistance in Dying*) their papers are in place: provisions made to end their lives. Their appointed agent makes the decision. They chose an agent who’d honor their wishes. As much as they love life, they don’t want to extend suffering to keep it. Mufty suggests, “the safest place in her whole world is in Bill’s arms.” Today they’ve planned a picnic in the river valley, for which Bill needs to go buy bread. “Keep looking pretty,” Bill says. “Thanks Bill.” Mufty says. * For more detailed information on Canada’s MAID law March 17, 2021, consult the MAID webpage justice.gc.ca |
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